


Old Habits

by Threshie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has Nightmares, Dean Uses Actual Words, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Flustered Castiel, Friendship/Love, Human Castiel in the Bunker, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nervous Dean, Newly Human Castiel, POV Castiel, Podfic Welcome, Sharing a Bed, Spooning, Watching Someone Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 06:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13781424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threshie/pseuds/Threshie
Summary: Cas is human, but he still wants to watch over Dean while the hunter sleeps. Unfortunately, Cas needs to sleep now, too -- and he accidentally falls asleep in Dean's bed.





	Old Habits

Castiel’s wings were gone for good this time. He may have been permanently human, but he was determined to be the same person the Winchesters had known before. A person who now just happened to live in their bunker with them, and could no longer heal their wounds, read minds, smite demons…

But, those kinds of thoughts only made him sad.

Even after his brief stint with humanity in the past, Cas hadn’t exactly mastered life as a mortal man. Not even close. Nothing drove the point home better than having Sam inform him that eating toothpaste could poison him, or having Dean crack up when he cut himself shaving. Apparently those were childish, YOUNG things to do. As new as he was to being permanently human, Castiel was anything but young — he could learn, and he would.

Cas stubbornly refused to let the Winchesters hold his hand through every step of his new life. It took a few days, but he figured out how to shave without cutting himself. Now that he knew toothpaste could be poisonous, he made sure to spit it out when brushing his teeth in the mornings. Adapting his day to day habits wasn’t that difficult.

Nights were more of a struggle. 

Changing into pajamas and laying down in a bed to sleep were entirely new things, since Cas had been homeless the first time he was human. Actually falling asleep proved difficult, too. He couldn’t quiet his mind down. He kept thinking of the Winchesters, how he used to watch over them when he was an angel. Especially Dean. Watching Dean sleep was a comforting old habit. It was comforting for Cas to know that he would be right there to stop any nightmares that crept into the hunter’s mind. As a human, Cas was expected to go to his own room and go to sleep, though. Simply flying to Dean’s side hadn’t been an option for a long time.

Tonight was another restless one. Cas tossed and turned, put the pillow over his head, even tried sleeping sitting up. Nothing worked. He couldn’t stop thinking about Dean. The older Winchester had been quiet today, something weighing on his mind, and surely the nightmares would try to come.

After several hours, the ex-angel relented and crawled out of bed. Padding in his socks down the hallway, he slipped into Dean’s room and came over to the side of the bed. He’d just check on him, he told himself, and then go back to his own room. A slice of light from the hallway landed across the bedroom floor behind him, and left the rest of the room just barely visible beyond it.

The Righteous Man was flat on his face in the bed, one arm folded up above his head on the pillow. He’d kicked his blankets off of the bed, and lay there shivering in his boxers and a thin T-shirt. Cas wistfully remembered being able to see in the dark. He had to get much closer now to check on Dean, so close in fact that he ended up perching on the edge of the bed.

Dean groaned and turned his head, soft lips and lightly freckled nose rolling into view around the edge of the pillow. He mumbled something and shivered harder. 

“No…no, no…” His breath hitched, and he clutched at the pillow, crushing it to his chest. “…Please…” Whatever the nightmare was about, it sounded bad. As an angel, Castiel would will away the disturbing thoughts with a touch to Dean’s forehead. As a human being, he no longer had that power. He couldn’t just leave Dean this way, though… 

Human comforts would have to do. Resting a hand on the hunter’s back, Cas ran his palm across the tense muscles there, rubbing first his shoulder and then his lower back.

“I’m here, Dean. You’re safe,” Cas whispered to him. His efforts seemed to work, because the tension in Dean’s back slowly faded, and he sank into soft, slow breaths again. Even human, it seemed Cas could still do something to help. He was grateful.

Pulling the blanket up from the floor, he laid it over the hunter’s back and tucked it carefully in around his shoulders. A soft sigh was the only thanks he got, and then Dean turned his head to bury his face in the pillow, sleep pulling him further away.

The blanket was cold. Cas went back to rubbing Dean’s back, trying to warm the blanket for him at least a little. He found himself matching the slow, deep breaths the hunter made, and it was soothing to do. He felt relaxed and safe here, watching over Dean and knowing that he had fended the nightmares off again.

“Cas?”

Dean was talking to him? But Dean was asleep.

“Uh, hey…Cas?”

Blinking slowly, the ex-angel realized that he was no longer sitting up on the edge of Dean’s bed. No, he was laying down ON Dean’s bed, and halfway on Dean, too. Cas raised his head from the hunter’s shoulder, looking around them with a tired squint.

“H-hello, Dean…” He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He was supposed to go back to his own room like he’d managed to the other times. The bed shifted beneath him, and he glanced to see that Dean had rolled over onto his side to face him. This close, his green eyes and freckles looked strangely beautiful, like the darkness kept them safe in here. The early morning light hadn’t touched him yet, the sun hadn’t had that privilege. 

They stared at each other for a long moment, before Dean ventured, “So…you’re in my bed.”

Cas glanced around them again like that status might suddenly change. He was pretty new to having dreams, but maybe he might wake up…?

When a long minute passed and that did not happen, he replied awkwardly, “Yes.”

“And I went to bed alone,” Dean continued, looking at him dubiously. “What exactly are you doing here?”

Cas blinked, realizing abruptly how bad this must all look to Dean. Angels knew the importance of consent better than anyone, and crawling into bed with someone uninvited was unwelcome just about everywhere.

Letting go of Dean (and realizing with regret that he’d had an arm draped around the man’s waist this whole time), Cas hurriedly scooted backward out of the bed, landing on the floor. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to — I just came here to watch over you.” The more he tried to explain, the worse it sounded.

Dean seemed to think so, too — he was sitting up in bed and hugging the blankets around his waist self-consciously.

“You didn’t mean to WHAT?” He asked, staring.

Cas got to his feet, glancing uneasily at the door. It was on the other side of the bed, so he couldn’t just bolt for it. 

“To, uh, fall asleep,” he replied finally. Running was a foolish plan, anyway. He’d have to face up to Dean sooner or later, so he may as well confront this head-on. His angelic self would have done just that, but for some reason his human self was shaking, heart pounding, and he felt way too warm all of a sudden. Was this what people meant when they said “flustered”?

“You seemed troubled yesterday,” he continued, looking Dean in the eyes. “When I was an angel, I would watch you while you slept. I know from those days what it looks like when you’re about to have nightmares.”

Dean looked unsure how to respond to that. He blinked.

“Okay…and you like to watch that?”

Cas frowned at that, affronted. 

“Of course not. I make them go away.” He glanced around the room for anything to look at except Dean’s green eyes. He was ashamed of himself. However well-meaning he had been, he had crawled into Dean’s bed without his permission. “I…must have fallen asleep this time. I’m sorry.” 

Dean’s silence only made him dread looking even more, but he forced himself to check the hunter’s expression. Dean looked more thoughtful than anything.

“You aren’t angry?” He asked, brows pinching.

“Not exactly,” Dean said, crawling out from under the blanket. He held out an arm, beckoning Castiel back to the bed. “C’mere, Cas, sit down a minute.”

Uncertainly, the ex-angel moved back over and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, very sadly. As with so many things, he’d meant well and it had backfired on him. Why was he like this?

Dean scooted over to hang his legs off of the bed, sitting beside Cas. He patted the ex-angel’s shoulder, looking at him sidelong.

“Thought you stopped that watching me sleep thing years ago,” he said sheepishly. “You don’t have to do that, you know.” He didn’t seem bothered by it, exactly. Castiel studied his expression, trying to decide what that meant. 

“I want to,” he replied honestly. “I can’t heal your wounds anymore, and I have to sleep sometimes, but I can still watch over you.”

Dean blinked again, and his mouth curved into a wry smile. Cas wanted to smile back, but he was too nervous to. For some reason, there was a fluttering feeling in his stomach.

“Maybe we’d both sleep better with you in here. We could try it, if you want,” Dean said, a little catch in his voice like he was struggling to sound casual about it. “If you want,” he repeated, searching Cas’s eyes for something. If Cas knew what reaction he was looking for, he would have tried to give it to him.

“You…would like that?” He had to admit that he would like it. It just hadn’t occurred to him now that he needed sleep that he could sleep beside Dean. He hadn’t even thought to ask. Why hadn’t he thought of that?

It was Dean’s turn to be flustered now, the flush making his freckles stand out like stars. Cas couldn’t help but smile at them.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Dean admitted. It was unclear whether he was implying that they actually just sleep or something more, but Cas didn’t care. He didn’t need any time to consider his answer, either.

He nodded.

Dean nodded, too, and a long, slightly awkward moment of silence passed.

“C’mon, it’s way too early to get up yet.” The hunter crawled back into the bed and turned the blanket aside, inviting Castiel to lay down with him.

That fluttering in Cas’s stomach was worse now; somehow he felt both elated and slightly ill. Confused by the odd mixture, the ex-angel climbed into bed with Dean and lay down beside him, tucking the blankets carefully over himself.

There was only one pillow, and they had to lay very close together to share it. Dean didn’t seem to mind; he even turned on his side to face Cas.

“Comfy?” He looked a little nervous. Maybe Cas was doing something wrong, or not doing something he should be doing.

“I…think so,” he replied uncertainly, glancing over at Dean’s face two inches from his on the pillow. In all honesty, he was uncomfortable. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do in this situation, and they were only trying it out, and if he messed it up too badly, maybe they wouldn’t do it again…

“Here, roll over.” Dean waved the opposite direction as himself. Castiel wondered how turning away could possibly seem comforting to him, but he did as requested, rolling onto his side. The wall looked dark and distant from here. Maybe Dean didn’t want to see his face so close. Maybe he was uncomfortable, too.

The feel of a warm body pressing up against the back of his silenced such thoughts. Dean wrapped an arm around his waist and up enough to rest on his chest, and they were nested together so close that the single pillow and the bed were enough. 

“Is this okay?” Dean murmured beside his ear, and the heat rose in Castiel’s face and chest. This was more than okay. Dean was holding him, and he felt right at home.

“I-I like this,” he replied softly. Looking over his shoulder would be impossible this close to Dean, so he didn’t try. “Do you?”

“Love it,” Dean assured him. A moment passed, and then the softest little kiss was pressed to the side of Castiel’s neck. “Love you, too, Cas,” Dean added finally, a bit hoarsely. “Hope you know that.”

Covering the hand on his chest with one of his own, Castiel laced their fingers and smiled. His heart felt lighter as he replied warmly, “I do.”

He couldn’t read minds anymore, or hear prayers, or sense longing. Since becoming human, he’d been blindly keeping Dean at arms’ length because he wasn’t sure of anything. Now, for the first time since he’d lost his wings, Castiel was certain.

Dean loved him no matter what he was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little bit of fluff and awkwardness. In my outline, the fic ended after Cas agreed to stay, but I couldn't resist letting the scene continue enough for some cuddles. Comments and kudos are always appreciated! ♥


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